The Most Important Thing About Me
November 24, 2010
This year for me has been an emotional roller coaster. I often wonder if this is a “season” or if it’s just the reality of human existence. My guess is the latter. In the midst of traveling, circumstances that have been out of my control, and beholding suffering, I’ve been trying to find a place of rest. I long for communion with Jesus that transcends circumstance and the inevitable storms of life.
My tendency throughout my journey has been to numb my heart (false rest). This can look like keeping incredibly busy, spending all my spare time with people, or gorging on entertainment. I admit I have done all of those things this year, but in the midst of it all I keep reaching for Jesus. I keep striving to fight against those tendencies and place my broken and weak heart before Him.
In the midst of one of those reaches several weeks ago, I pulled out “The Knowledge of the Holy” by AW Tozer. I stopped short at the first line:
“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.”
Somehow, this statement got me back on track in a way that I needed so desperately. I have thought about it repeatedly since then. When you don’t know what to do, set your eyes on Jesus (2 Chron. 20:12). Beholding & declaring Jesus is always our way forward.
So, who is my Beloved to me?
He is faithful, exceedingly faithful. He never leaves me. He is always working everything together for my good, conforming me to His image as I choose to love Him (Romans 8). He hedges me in and afflicts me in faithfulness (Hosea 2 & Psalm 119). He speaks tenderly to me and upholds me with His right arm. At times His works are invisible to me, at times He whispers, and at times He thunders. Always, He is good.
He is true. Never has He, and never will He, lie to me. He’s not like mere man (Numbers 23:19). I can trust His Word. I can trust His actions. He lived a blameless life and then chose to die for me. I can trust a God who has bled for me. I can trust a God who IS truth. He is who He says He is.
He is humble. The fact that a divine God chose to put on flesh forever, in order to raise up kings and priests (as His family) astounds me. Not only has He died for me, but He lives to intercede for me on a regular basis (Hebrews 7). My God is a God who washes my feet, cleanses my heart, and shepherd’s me (John 13, Psalm 23, John 10). Have you ever heard of a God who is a Shepherd?
He is beautiful. I long to be captured by something bigger than the day to day and Jesus is my answer to that ache. He is beautiful to my eyes – dazzling & radiant, shining like a jasper diamond, surrounded by an emerald rainbow and living creatures (Revelation 4). His eyes burn with fire (Revelation 1). Christ is beautiful to my heart – His Name is my comfort & if I really run into His name, I will find fascination.
He is attentive to my cry. Knowing that a God who owns the cattle on a thousand hills (Psalm 50), He who is seated above the circle of the earth (Isaiah 40), the one who created all things by the Word of His power (John 1), is listening to me (me?!) is terrifying and glorious. I have the ear of the One who can actually bring change (Psalm 18). I have everything I need if I have Jesus (2 Peter 1:3).
This list could go on and on and on… but in the midst of the whirlwind of life I seek to come back to the first things. I long to behold Him and bless Him. I long to love Him and declare His name. What I believe about Jesus and living like I believe it, is the most important thing about me.
Why ‘Practice’ God’s Presence
May 17, 2010
I’ve been working on a blog post for o
ver a week, on why we should ‘practice the presence of God’. Honestly, it was reading something akin to a car manual. While that would probably please my mechanically minded husband—I didn’t think it would agree with 99% of the rest of the populace—so I chucked it and started over.
So, why seek to give God my attention and my affection throughout every moment of my life?
Simply—Because He is worthy. He is a God who bled for me. He was beaten beyond recognition after living a blameless life—never giving into the temptation of sin even one time—so that in His death and resurrection He could claim me as His own. The King of Kings has given every ounce of His strength—His mind, His will, His emotions, His resources—to possess me and draw me into His kingdom—all so that I would reign with Him in paradise, forever!
Jesus was more than aware of every time I’d reject Him, and yet He pursued me. Willingly, the Son of Man laid down His life that I would rule with Him forever. Even now, He is seated at the right hand of the Father living to intercede for me.
How could I not seek to lay my life down for Love? How could I not seek to worship Him with my every breath, my every thought, my every step? The eternal God is worthy of abandoned worship!!! He is worthy of every moment of my life.
I’ve been thinking about the axiom, ‘Life is a marathon—not a sprint.’ Usually what people mean by that is, ‘Slow down. You’ve got to pace yourself. Don’t push too hard. Remember life is long—you don’t want to wear yourself out.’
And I think it’s ridiculous.
For one thing, those who live by this motto probably aren’t runners. Because runners (whether sprinters or marathoners) are consumed with their sport. Real runners change their diets, their sleeping habits, and their schedules in order to get faster and stronger. They can’t compartmentalize their training and continue in sloppiness in other arenas of life. If a runner is serious about improving their best time & beating their last record, running will touch every aspect of their life – regardless of the race they’re running.
Paul says, in 1 Corinthians 9, “24 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. 25 And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. 26 Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. 27 But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified.”
Life on this earth is short. I’ve only got one life to live. AND I never know when my turn to stand before the Judge of the Earth will be. However, I know that I will. I also know that I don’t want to look back and wish I’d just run a little bit harder into His heart. Oh the pain I’d feel upon realizing that I could have leaned more into His love and therefore loved others more because of it.
He is worthy—so I run. Life on this earth is short—so I discipline my body and my mind. I want to gain eternal reward—So I set my eyes on Jesus in even the most mundane circumstances. He loves me—so I want to love Him.
As I close, I’m thinking about running cross-country in High School—particularly the invitationals. Early on a Saturday morning, a hundred to two hundred girls would line up next to each other in preparation for a 3.1 mile race. As I would stand there (hopping up and down trying to shake out my nervous energy) I’d be thinking about the whole race— the turns, the hills, the straight-away’s.
I’d visualize the finish—how I’d ‘kick it in’ with my last bit of strength. But I’d also be thinking about the challenge at hand—that first 100 meters. I knew that if I didn’t give the initial part of the race everything I had, I’d get stuck behind the pack and probably wouldn’t get into the position I wanted at the front of the race. I also knew that maintaining a strong pace would be critical to success.
Ah, I love to run!! The thrill of pushing myself as hard as my body will allow, giving myself to a higher goal moment to moment, setting my eyes on the prize - glorious. Paul’s analogy is excellent because how hard we run in this life (through every part of the race) – will determine “how we place” in the age to come. We don’t compete against each other, but we war against powers and principalities. We war against the darkness within and all around us, and we run to obtain the prize.
So I visualize the finish. I think about the twists and turns along the way. I set myself for a strong steady start. I practice the presence of God – because I was made to run.
A Few Years Ago – I Got a Wake-Up Call
April 21, 2010
One of the most painful things to me of late is how I spend my time. Or perhaps better phrased – how I DON’T spend my time. I desire to give the Lord 100% of my attention and my affection – no matter what I’m doing. However, I’m painfully aware of how short I fall of that goal!!
Revelation 20:12 – “And I saw the dead great and small, standing before the throne, and books were opened. Then another book was opened, which is the book of life. And the dead were judged by what was written in the books, according to what they had done.”
I absolutely believe that we are saved by grace through faith – not by anything we do (Ephesians 2:8-10). But I believe there will be varying rewards based on how we have chosen to love Jesus with our life (Matthew 25:14-30).
Those choices break down to moment by moment decisions. Will I partner with Jesus and agree with truth or will I love a lie? It’s the difference between getting lost in unhealthy fantasy or choosing to set my mind on things above. Sometimes it’s even a decision between what’s good and what’s best (spending 2 hours surfing the internet vs. 2 hours reading the Word).
The first time I was really gripped with this was several years ago. I had been dealing with prolonged illness that required me to be mostly confined to my bed. I had a Netflix subscription, and believe you me, I was getting my money’s worth!! I felt rather worthless at the time. I couldn’t think clearly, couldn’t ‘DO’ much of anything, and it seemed like the only thing I could do was get lost in someone else’s story for awhile.
I believe I was binge watching some ‘Little House On the Prairie’ episodes when I became very aware of my utter boredom and the ache inside of me. I remember beginning to dialogue with the Lord about the frustration I had about the season I was in. I wanted to be in the prayer room. I wanted to be singing. I wanted to be in the House of the Lord!
I don’t remember exactly how Jesus spoke to me that day. But I remember being struck with the awareness that I would be judged for how I was spending my time – even though I was sick. I knew He wasn’t angry with me or even disappointed. But I had a distinct awareness that one day I would stand before the King of Kings who sees EVERYTHING.
He would say, “Do you remember that season I gave you – when you didn’t have any responsibility? That season when you didn’t have any children or a leadership position? You lived in a tiny apt and there weren’t dozens of people vying for your attention. Yes, you were struck with a momentary light affliction but how did you love ME in that time?”
I became SO aware of how little time I was spending in the Word and how little time I was just talking to Jesus as I laid in my bed. If I could watch hour upon hour of Little House on the Prairie… I could certainly commune with the Spirit in my weakness. And yet I spent very little time doing that.
I began to realize the offense in my heart towards God, and how my lack of believing He was who He said He was – my Healer, my Friend, my Savior, my Redeemer… was keeping me from coming to Him in my own poverty.
In some ways that was the beginning of a journey for me of figuring out how best to give Him my time – within my frame and my circumstances. It’s a never-ending, always changing journey to discover how to give Jesus more of my heart. The more I seek to be focused – the more aware I become of my lack of focus! I’m so thankful He loves to give grace and mercy because I need a lot of it.
I hope to do a couple of posts of ways that I seek to ‘practice the presence of God’ (great book by Brother Lawrence if you’ve never read it!) Certainly, it looks different for everyone. But the more we can glean from one another’s practices in this arena, the closer we’ll come to being conformed to His image. That’s what I want!!!
Why I Don’t Listen to Secular Music
March 12, 2010
I grew up listening to secular music. Truthfully, I could probably sing most popular songs that were produced between the 50’s and the 90’s. In High School, I would drive for hours with the windows down, and my radio blaring. I loved many different genre’s and especially how the music made me feel.
Something with a good beat could seemingly cheer me up in minutes and songs that told a story could make me cry. Some of the songs took me back to moments that had long past and some songs felt empowering. If someone had told me even 5 years ago, that I would give up secular music – I wouldn’t have believed them. And yet, I did.
Why?
1) I want to love Jesus with my whole heart.
Matthew 22:37 – Jesus replied: ” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38This is the first and greatest commandment.
When I take this verse as it’s written, ALL really means ALL. When my time and attention is given to music that doesn’t glorify God, by people who( typically) aren’t living lives that glorify God, then I’m giving my heart, soul, and mind to something less that God.
Matthew 12:25, Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, “Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.
When I listen to (meditate on) secular music I’m setting myself up to be ‘divided’. What do I mean by that? If I say that I believe that the scriptures say that premarital sex, getting drunk, or a covetous lifestyle are sin, but I listen to music that is rife with such topics – I am subconsciously (sometimes consciously) agreeing with these lifestyle choices. If I don’t agree with those things, why do I allow my heart and mind to meditate on them?
When my heart is divided I lose my ability to stand on issues that really matter to Jesus’ heart. I believe that darkness is increasing in the earth and I want to have an undivided heart to be able to stand in truth at all times.
2) I want to love others as I want to be loved.
Matthew 22:39 – ‘And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
I love being around people who’s hearts are on fire with the Word of God, and who’s spirits are sensitive to Holy Spirit. I am provoked, sharpened, and encouraged by them. I want to be that kind of person!!! I believe that a wholehearted person – someone wholly given to Jesus – will love others better than someone who’s heart is divided.
3. I don’t want to open myself up to demonic influence.
I believe that’s exactly what I’m doing when I listen to that which has demonic ideas, influence, or even blatant demonic worship. When we open the door to this stuff – we are more fearful, depressed, and discouraged. If secular music is not only ‘not helpful’ but actually causes me to lose ground… then what’s the point?
Even in the case when secular music feels like a temporary ‘pick me up’, is it really worth the cost?
1 Cor. 10:20 Rather, that the things which the Gentiles sacrifice they sacrifice to demons and not to God, and I do not want you to have fellowship with demons. 21 You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of demons; you cannot partake of the Lord’s table and of the table of demons. 22 Or do we provoke the Lord to jealousy? Are we stronger than He? 23 All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify. 24 Let no one seek his own, but each one the other’s well-being.
4) I become like what I behold.
This one speaks for itself. I don’t want to look like the world. I want to love the world, but I want to look like Jesus.
5) Life is short and I will stand before Jesus and give an account for how I spend my time and attention.
The fact that Jesus gives us grace upon grace, and moment after moment to choose to love Him is astounding to me. And the fact that He will reward our choices rooted in love is even more amazing!!! I want to please His heart and do whatever I can to be pure and spotless. I believe what I do today will have ETERNAL consequences.
Revelation 20:12 And I saw the dead, small and great, standing before God, and books were opened. And another book was opened, which is the Book of Life. And the dead were judged according to their works, by the things which were written in the books.
6) I want to be a friend of God.
A friend is someone I esteem, walk with, and listen to. I don’t want to esteem, agree with, and feast on what the world says and does. James tells us that being a friend of the world is hostility towards God. If I’m being hostile towards God will He want to tell me His secrets on a regular basis?
I want to hear what Jesus is saying in this hour. I want to hear His whispers and His longings. I want to be filled with His word, His truth, and His spirit. I want to walk with Him.
James 4:4-8 Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God. 5 Or do you think that the Scripture says in vain, “The Spirit who dwells in us yearns jealously”? 6 But He gives more grace. Therefore He says: “ God resists the proud, But gives grace to the humble.”7 Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners; and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
7) I want to write worship music and sing oracles of heaven.
To truly sing the oracles of heaven I believe you have to BECOME the message… I am a LONG way from this reality, but that’s what I want to do. In order to be a living oracle – a living song – I must consecrate my life.
Now before anyone say this is religious… I don’t think that not listening to secular music earns me anything. It doesn’t. Turning off the radio and throwing away many of my cd’s won’t make Jesus love me more. I DO believe though, that it will make my spirit more open to receive His love.
One last thing (if you’ve read this far… hang in there!) I remember a time 3 or 4 years ago when I was up late, feeling sick, and couldn’t sleep. I decided to get on Itunes and find music that I’d enjoyed over the years. Several hours probably passed as I purchased old music and found new songs that I liked. I remember a feeling of comfort as I listened.
However, I remember waking up and feeling almost hung over… and it had nothing to do with what I’d consumed the previous day. I realized that I had given my soul over to the spirit of the age as I had drunk song after song that did not glorify Jesus. Soon after this incident, I heard a teaching on turning away from secular music because of what it opens our spirits to. I was sold. I threw away my cd’s and deleted a lot of music out of my ITunes library.
I’m amazed at how much better my spirit feels on a regular basis and how much more sensitive I am to His Spirit. I’m not as anxious, fearful, or depressed as I used to be. That could also be because I cut way back on most forms of entertainment. But I’ll save that for another time… 
Someone To Love
June 14, 2009
Many moons ago (hmmm… feels kind of fun to start a post like that), years before I was married, I remember pondering aloud to a friend. I was asking them if they thought I would EVER get married. And he said, ‘Yes, I think so. The Lord will give you someone to love.’
I was actually quite taken aback by that (which is kind of frightening to admit.) At the time I wasn’t really looking for someone to love – I was looking for someone to love me.
Of course that’s a natural desire and a good one – we all crave love. Honestly though, it was rather immature and a tad bit unhealthy. I’m still plenty immature but hopefully getting better everyday!!! The unhealthy part came from a longing to be satisfied in earthly love before being satisfied in the Lord. I don’t think I was aware of it at that time, but I’m telling you how it was… and how I still have a tendency to swing that way.
In my life I have drank (drunk?) from the horrid cess pool of lies called many romantic movies. (Before you desire to lynch me I’m not saying they’re all bad… but ask yourself the next time you watch one – did this movie make me want to lay down my life for someone? or did it make me feel like I’m not getting what I deserve?) Most romantic movies today center around someone searching and finding their ‘soul mate’ and thus all their problems and inner turmoil are resolved. Unless you’re soulmate is Jesus, I’m afraid that equation is just not going to work.
Choose wisely when you marry. Choose someone you enjoy, choose someone who provokes you, choose someone you’re attracted to, choose someone who confronts you, choose someone you respect, choose someone who loves Jesus. But be aware that you will never be satisfied in that person. Be aware that if somehow your enjoyment lessens, they no longer provoke you, and you find yourself no longer attracted to them – that you STILL have someone to love. If you have chosen marriage, you’ve chosen covenant and the gift of love is still yours to give.
I feel so blessed to have someone to love, with all of his wonderful qualities and all of his flaws – in the highs and in the lows. I am honored that he chose me to be his wife and so thankful that daily (hopefully) I’m learning how to love.
You Deserve Hell
February 15, 2009
Ok, I know – it’s a strong title. But I don’t actually think it’s something that any of us grasp often enough. Particularly in the throe’s of sickness, I think it’s a point that’s crucial to remember.
Why? Because you don’t deserve good health. You don’t deserve the strength to walk across a room. You don’t deserve a pain free life. You don’t deserve to take your next breath. Because of your sin, that you were born into, you deserve to go to hell forever.
Thankfully, we have a Redeemer. We have a Savior. We have a great High Priest who lives to make intercession for us. 2000 years ago, He died that we too would be raised with Him. If, we choose to humble ourselves, repent of our sin, and turn to Him as our leader we too can know that life.
Our healing has been paid in full. We have been bought with a price. And forever we will live with Him in paradise if we stand faithful to His word in this life. He bowed so low to lift us so high. However, not for one minute do we deserve it.
At some of my lowest moments, to remember that He doesn’t owe me my healing has been SO helpful to my heart. I remind myself (and Him – this is called prayer) continually that He desires for me to be healed. He was tortured, led like a lamb to the slaughter so that I would know healing.
However, I also remind myself that I didn’t earn it. And I don’t deserve it. This cultivates gratitude in my heart. Thankfulness is one of the best weapons in the midst of battling, well, anything! Particularly in the midst of sickness, I think we have the invitation to become some of the most thankful people on earth.
Thankful that pain and weakness is for but a minute. Thankful that He destroyed death forever on the cross. Thankful that we still have breath to praise His Name. Thankful for every minute we have to love Him on this side of eternity. Thankful that He saved us… the list goes on and on.
A well known chorus at IHOP by Misty Edwards is:
“You owe me nothing. I deserve hell.
You owe me nothing, but You’ve given me mercy.”
This truly must be our battle cry in the day to day. We don’t deserve His love, oh but how He loves to lavish it upon us! Thank you Jesus for your mercy!
Stewarding Your Marriage
January 23, 2009
This is several weeks late as our anniversary was January 2nd. I didn’t want our 4th anniversary to go by without some commentary, so here goes. Better late than never, right? (Seems to be my motto on this blog.)
I am no marriage expert. Talk to me in 30 years, and hopefully at that point I’ll have something to really say about it.
However, lately the Lord has been speaking to Caleb and I a lot about stewardship. Stewardship , meaning, what we do with what we’re given and what we’ve got. The 2 main arenas that we’re working on (as with most people) is our time and our money. A terrifying (in a good way) reality is that we will be held accountable for our stewardship in this life.
Due to uncontrollable life circumstances (i.e. sickness) both of these have been an interesting journey for us. But, by the grace of God we’re learning. He is our Redeemer, our Leader, our Restorer, our Healer. He loves to give immeasurably more than we ask or imagine. So we keep asking and we seek to dream BIG!
I’ve also been looking at how stewardship affects every aspect of my life – including my marriage. How do I steward my relationship with my husband – the only person I’ve made a covenant with – before the God of heaven and earth? How do I live when we’re together? How do I live when we’re apart?
The main way I believe we love our husband’s (our spouses for that matter) is first to love the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind, and strength – allowing Jesus to transform our hearts by His word and His truth. And then to love your spouse as you would desire to be loved.
I believe that looks like prayer – lots of prayer!!! I want to champion my husband’s heart, and steward the partnership we have well. Making it a point to intercede for him daily, edify him with my words, serve him with my actions, and respect who he is in the Lord (meaning what the Lord says about him, not simply what I perceive in my weakness).
I want Caleb to run this race well, that he might hear the Lord say to him, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” I want him to receive great reward in the kingdom to come and for him to walk wholeheartedly in love today.
On this anniversary, I am provoked to re-sign up to love as the Lord says… choosing to lay down my life (though in my weakness) and take up my cross. I am so thankful for the way Caleb loves me on a consistent basis. I do not deserve him. I married so far up!!! Oh, Lord give me the grace to love Caleb as You do. I want to steward the gift of his heart well. Teach me to love.
Building My Life On the Vision Of Christ
December 15, 2008
Satan is a liar. He always is and always will be. And yet I am so quick to forget that and give into the lies that can be hurled at me.
One of the big ones in my life have been the, “If only..” lie and the “when…” lie. For instance, “If only you hadn’t made that decision then you could really be happy.” Or, “When this circumstance finally changes then you’ll really be fulfilled.” Satan has been feeding me (well, all of humanity really) that same lie forever – “the grass is always greener” and if you could just have that “thing” (ie – the apple) then you can be fulfilled.
I am finding that with my healing. I truly believe the Lord is healing me. It has been a progressive thing, though I still have a long way to go (but I’ve come SO far.) I hold my health before the Lord with open hands, knowing that my hope is not in it, and yet being thankful and agreeing with His heart for my complete restoration.
All that to say – it doesn’t fulfill me. Perfect health is not necessary for a joyful life. A heart communing with Jesus through His Word is. I can be puking in my toilet and rejoicing in the truth of who God has called me to be. And even in that place – in utter weakness – I can do all the will of God.
I think a desire for healing is righteous, understandable, and biblical. We SHOULD contend for complete healing! However, putting your hope in it is a different thing. Over the past several years it was so easy for me to say, “When I’m healed, then…” Then I can do what’s really in my heart. Then everything will be alright. But I feel like I’m coming out of the sickness only to be met with a greater longing than I’ve ever known.
Only oneness with Jesus will fill this ache in my soul. Only bowing low and aligning my heart and my life more and more with His word will I find the rest I need.
I am thankful for every kiss of beauty – be it in a photograph, a relationship, or a melody line. But they only evoke longing in me, they don’t satisfy. Beauty in the natural, healing, glorious life events, earthly relationships – are whispers of a greater reality that must be my supreme satisfaction.
I must build my life upon the vision of Christ. Not on those things that will pass away in this age. Only in oneness with Jesus and His plans, purposes, thoughts will I find joy. Oh, come quickly Jesus. We long for your return.
All that to say… I still pray – Lord let your kingdom come in my frame – here and today!
PS – This photo doesn’t have anything do with this post either. It’s just one I took my first winter in KC – almost 6 years ago.
"A Great and Terrible Day"
November 6, 2008
That’s what IHOP’s leadership was calling the election day this week. Not THE great and terrible day (see Joel 2:11). But, great in the sense that America elected an African American as president. Terrible in the sense that much of what he stands for goes against what the bible says to be true and righteous and will have grave ramifications for our nation and the world.
I was also encouraged by Mike Bickle’s (the director of IHOP) words… in that we need not be discouraged. “Jesus wins in the end.” And so will we, if we choose life and light and truth in the midst of increasing darkness. He also shared (and I whole-heartedly agree) that our heart posture should be to bless President-Elect Obama and pray for the light of Christ to break into his heart.
I read James Dobson’s letter from 2012 and quite frankly have been very emotional about it. The end of the age is more real to me than it ever has been and I feel a greater need to pray than ever – which is a great thing! I love that we are “not as those who have no hope.”
I am so thankful that we can live for a kingdom yet to come and that our hope is in a perfect God-man who will make the wrong things right. I am so thankful that Jesus is ALWAYS good and that His love will never fail us. Oh, Jesus – King of Kings forever… have mercy on our nation and teach us how to pray.
On Reading and Leisure
August 13, 2008
Awhile ago, I decided that I wanted to get back to reading books as opposed to wasting tons of time on TV and movies. I tend to be the kind of person who gravitates towards being a couch potato, and can easily waste whole evenings watching absolutely nothing of meaning.
This never feels fruitful – I typically feel more dull afterwards and usually am trying to escape something that I don’t want to face. I don’t want to live my life like that!
I have to stand before Jesus one day and give Him an account for how I’ve spent my time in my life. That terrifies me! I’ve been finding more and more that books can be (not always though) a really healthy form of leisure. Meaning, when done with the intention of learning and or contemplating a form of beauty – with appropriate subject matter and not as a form of escape – it can draw us into Jesus’ heart and provoke us to love.
So… in my adventure to plunge back into the literary world – I’m finding that the main books I’m drawn to are: children’s books (particularly classics), books on the persecuted church, biographies, and also ‘christian life’ books (oh, and Home Design Books too). I’ve read quite a few in the past several months that I haven’t posted so I’m going to try to catch up!!
I’ve found that for me, in order to become a “reader” I first really had to consider what I was most interested in. Then I really had to make time for it, and also figure out what form (sometimes that changes) works best for me. Meaning, sometimes Audiobooks are a really great way for me to get some “reading” in.
I think all of us on the journey of becoming more like Jesus want to live fruitful, fulfilling, and pure lives. And I’m finding in order for me to do that, I need to have options that aren’t “work” that I enjoy. For me reading is becoming a big one. Exercising and photography are two others… but really the list is soooooo long and there are so many possibilities.
I don’t think entertainment or technology is evil… I like how Mike Bickle puts it, “Technology is not evil, it is the heart making an alliance with evil” that is wrong. There are still movies that I watch and I do still get sucked into home design shows but I keep asking for a clean and unselfish heart!! It’s so contrary to what is ‘natural’ for me. However, in this day and age, I’m finding that it is imperative to draw the line (though I’m still fighting that battle) and seek to choose to feast my eyes and heart on that which honors Him. Oh, may He give us the fear of the Lord!
